The Best Intentions
by Megs1313
Summary: What if Alice hadn't "seen" Bella jump off the cliff? Totally AU, but hopefully in character. Bella moves on with Jacob, but Edward can't stay away forever...JXB, EXB. BPOV, JPOV, EPOV Rated T for now, M in later chapters.
1. Facing the Future

A/N: I've reworked this a bit for those of you who are reading for the second time. In this AU, Alice did not "see" Bella jump off the cliff and therefore, did not return to Forks in New Moon. This story picks up several months later when Bella is graduating from high school. Thanks for reading!

BPOV

It was totally quiet in my room. I was moving a little slowly post-shower. It had taken quite the pep talk just to get out of the shower and now I was frantically searching for the motivation to continue on to getting dressed. In truth, I had no interest in making the evening go any faster.

I was more than ready to move on from Forks High, senior year there wasn't entirely a pleasant memory for me. What I wasn't so prepared to face was life after graduation. Over the last 8 months, I'd had to reorient myself in an effort to keep all of me in one piece (or as close to one piece as possible) and I couldn't help but feel that I might not be up to the task a second time, especially, considering I'd be off at the University of Washington without my Jacob.

The uncertainty I felt about the coming change had immobilized me entirely and there I stood, dripping wet, pondering my future instead of getting my gown on and heading out the door.

Just then a gentle knock at the door snapped me out of my reverie. "Yeah, Dad?" I called.

"Hey Bells." I gasped a little as Jacob pushed open the door.

"Jake? What are you doing here?" I could feel myself blush as I clutched my robe a little more tightly closed at the neck. Jacob laughed and winked at me.

"Relax, you're perfectly decent. I wanted to check on you. Figured you were kinda nervous, might need some help putting one foot in front of the other." A smug smile played on his lips as he quickly evaluated my state of undress as confirmation of his conjecture. I frowned and stuck my tongue out at him.

He chuckled as he swept over to me and tucked me in his arms. It was amazing how everything made sense again when I was placed there. How all of the uneasiness seemed to vanish in the warmth of his embrace. I let out a contented sigh and groaned in defeat, "Okay you win, I need you." He kissed my forehead and took my hands in his as he led me over to my closet.

With Jacob there it didn't take long to select a suitable under-gown outfit and pull my hair back into plaits. Of course, it would have been easier to do if he hadn't been making googly eyes at me the whole time and kissing my cheeks at regular intervals, not that I minded. It was nice to be adored, even if I was hardly worth adoring. The truth was that I owed him absolutely everything, my life even and here he was acting like he was getting a good deal.

"You ready?" I shrugged and raised one eyebrow at him. "Do I _look_ ready?"

"You look beautiful." He grabbed my hand and pressed it to his lips. I marveled at the contrast of my alabaster skin against the copper hue of his and felt a rush of pure joy that I got to call him mine. I tucked his long black hair behind one of his ears and he leaned down to kiss me. I had to stand on the very tips of my toes to reach him. It was hard to believe that the calendar counted me as the older of us. In so many ways it felt impossible, a miscalculation.

I tucked my cap under my arm (I didn't want to wear it any longer than necessary, I looked ridiculous enough in the gown) and Jake led us down the stairs, hand in hand.

I was already feeling pretty emotional and Charlie didn't seem to be in much better control than I was. Charlie was going to drive me in his cruiser (graduation gowns and motorcycles do not mix) while Jake followed us on his bike.

"Bells, I just can't believe it." He snuffled.  
"Hold it together, Dad." If he got any more exuberant, I'd have to find a place in this ridiculous costume to stash some tissues.

"I'm going to give you guys a minute." Jacob squeezed my hand and nodded toward Charlie before escaping through the front door. Sure getting dressed he helps with, but for this I'm on my own. I laughed awkwardly, not knowing exactly what to say.

"Bells, I know it wasn't ideal for you, living here with me. I just wanted to say…" I held my hand up to cut him off right there.

"Listen Dad, I want to get this out and then we have to shut up because I seriously don't think there's a hanky pocket in this thing." I gestured to the polyester tent on my shoulders, "Getting to live with you for the last year and a half has meant infinitely more to me than I could ever have imagined. I'm so glad I did it. I love you."

With that, I threw my arms around him as he mumbled incoherently. I stepped back and smiled at him, pretending not to see him quickly brush a tear from his scruffy cheek. He was never one for the big emotional displays, but I always knew that he loved me. He was a good Dad.

When I stepped onto the porch I saw Jacob's head flash up and immediately felt the weight of the moment Charlie and I'd just shared dissipate a bit. Charlie opened the cruiser door for me and I took a long, deep breath while I climbed into the cab. "Here we go." Charlie said. I swallowed the lump in my throat and echoed in my mind, _Here we go…_

_A/N: Thanks again for reading! Reviews make me happy! If there are any questions, please ask! _


	2. Pomp and Circumstance

A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing!

I fidgeted and fiddled with my cap while we stood in line (alphabetically of course) waiting to process into the gymnasium. Despite the tiny size of my graduating class at Forks High, the gym was packed to the gills and I felt familiarly uncomfortable at being on display. I was glad to be just behind Jessica Stanley in the alphabet. She courted the attention and I was able to fade into her shadow a bit.

As we marched in to Pomp and Circumstance, I couldn't help but think of just how much life I'd lived in my brief tenure as a resident of Forks, Washington. I'd come as a prisoner of my own sacrificial nature, but hadn't truly lived until this place. I never dreamed it would be more than a purgatory, but here it was my new and forever home.

I was relieved that I managed to only trip at the very end of the procession as we sat in unison. Thus, avoiding the domino effect possibility I'd been having nightmares about for the last few nights. I clunked into my seat gracelessly and curled inward, blushing bright enough for even the guests in the nosebleeds seats to see and snicker. 

I started searching the crowd for Charlie and Jake. Jake was laughing at me as usual and Charlie was strangely stoic. I thought I might have even seen him clutching a tissue, but the voice of Eric Yorkie caught my attention and I remembered that I was supposed to be facing forward.

It felt like he would go on forever. I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. I was much too focused on not tripping up the stairs to the stage. I was glad I had to the S's to gauge the surety of the steps and plan my Keep Upright strategy. After an awkward round of applause (which was probably more in appreciation of Eric finishing than of the words he had spoken) Ms. Goff stood up to begin reading the names.

_Avoid the railing, it's not secured. Keep left hand on gown to lift it a bit and extend right hand to shake hands with Mr. Greene and accept diploma. Then, BEFORE taking a step use left hand to move tassel to the other side of cap and proceed WITH CAUTION across the stage and down the other set of steps, remembering the railing situation. _

"Isabella Marie Swan."

_Crap. _

The plan seemed simple enough, but I hadn't accounted for Jessica's pause for pictures and therefore, bumped directly into her backside after managing to both accept my diploma and adjust my tassel without incident. Jess was thoroughly put out, but the rest of the crowd seemed to enjoy my humiliation quite thoroughly. I scurried the rest of the way across the stage, only wobbling slightly as I half ran down the steps.

All in all Operation Keep Upright was a modest success. No one had fallen at the very least.

After all the names were called and the caps were tossed, the crowd was unleashed upon us and the scene became a mass breakout of hugs, tears, and picture-taking. I stood quite still in my spot, knowing that I would do a better job of getting lost, than of finding the men I wanted to see.

Sure enough I felt those big arms wrap around me from behind as Jake lifted me into the air, a big smile stretched across his wide lips.

"I'd pay to see _that_ again." He chuckled.

"Ha. Ha." I replied acidly.

He set me down and kissed me on the tip of my nose. My Dad was right behind him sniffling and clearly embarrassed. I walked to him and gave him a tight squeeze.

"So what do you want to do now?" I asked.

"Actually, Bells, I have plans with Billy tonight, sorry." Charlie winked. I was totally confused. I realized there wasn't much traditional about my family, but I never imagined we wouldn't do the post-graduation trip to the Elks Lodge.

"Oh Ok. No problem. So….I guess we'll just head home, then?" I was at a loss.

"Actually, Bella honey, I thought maybe you'd let me take you out tonight." Jacob smiled at me with a mischievous twinkle dancing in his eyes. Uh-oh. Surprises. I was no good with surprises.

"Um…great. Let me just turn the gown in and we can go."

"Sure, sure. I'll get the bike and meet you out front."

I walked away with a new kind of butterfly taking up residence in my stomach. What was Jacob playing at? Did he talk Charlie into staying away the night of graduation? That didn't seem fair, but Charlie would do anything for my Jacob. He still felt utterly indebted to him for bringing the sun back into my perpetual night.

I crept through the crowd to get to the locker room to hang up the gown. I felt more nervous than seemed rational. I mean, Jake and I spent all our available time together and normally the idea of being with him made me serenely calm, not jittery, but my emotions were all over the map tonight. I felt on edge, like some unseen force was disturbing my equilibrium.

I tried to shake it off as I pushed through the locker room door to hang my gown up on the nearly empty rolling rack. They'd given us the option of purchasing the gown, but I couldn't imagine what anyone would want with a glorified garbage bag. Apparently I was in the minority. As usual.

Suddenly, I was struck with an acute awareness that I was not alone. I'm not entirely sure what tipped me off, because as soon as I realized it and tried to pay attention to my surroundings, I heard nothing but the dripping of an out of repair faucet in the lavatory area.

"Is someone there?" My voice was shaky and came out more quietly than I intended, but no one answered. I took a couple steps toward the deeper locker bays to check things out, but the doors popped open and Jessica appeared on the other side of the room. I jumped a bit as I spun around, startled.

"Oh, Bella! Can you believe it? We're done!"

"Uh…yeah. It's something." My head was all over the place and I could still almost feel someone watching us.

"Do you remember when you first came here? We were friends right away!" Jess looked on the verge of some seriously sappy reminiscing and my desire to escape her won out over my curiosity as to what or who was lurking in that locker room.

"Yeah, it's been…er…fun. See ya, Jess!" I barreled past her hearing her mutter "weird" under her breath as I exited the locker room in a hurry.

Being with Jacob would set things right again. It was all I could do to keep from breaking out into a full sprint the moment I realized that he was the solution to the troubled feelings in my stomach. It would all be OK once I had my arms around his back and the wind in my hair as we took of on his bike.

For no reason that I could comprehend, my mind flashed to Edward. Maybe it was the tenor of the evening, with all the nostalgia and looking back, but it made me race all the more quickly to my peaceful sun, my Jacob.

A/N: So…..?


	3. Grim Reality

A/N: This chapter is much longer. I hope you enjoy it. Thanks for reading!

EPOV

As I stood in the shadows behind the large brick building that housed the gymnasium, I suddenly wished that Alice was with me. In all the weeks of plotting that had led me to this moment, it never occurred to me that the hardest part would be making my way into the locker room unnoticed. I knew it would be totally abandoned during the ceremony and with the poor lighting and unused shower bays with their concealing curtains, it seemed like the perfect place to "watch" the ceremony from afar.

I couldn't very well just stand outside where anyone might happen upon me or catch a glimpse of me from the interior of the building. I couldn't just blend into the crowd in the stands or simply stand outside the gymnasium doors. I had toyed with the idea of staying in the trees nearby to the campus, but decided that listening would be a lot easier if I were nearby.

If I were being totally honest with myself, the truth was I wanted to be as close as possible. I needed to be as close as possible. I'd warred with myself for so long, hoping to avoid becoming exactly what I had become by being here today. I was a villain, motivated by selfish desires and equipped with powerful weapons. My weapons did more than break the body, though. I was capable of breaking the spirit, stealing the soul. I was the bad guy.

For eight months I'd resisted. It all meant nothing the moment I'd chosen to break my vow. I assuaged my conscience with empty words_: She won't even know I'm here; I won't let her see me; I would never dream of actually speaking to her_; _I just want to see that all is well_. I had deluded myself into thinking this was acceptable. Would she have to pay for my selfishness yet again?

I shook my head. Even though I knew what I was doing was wrong, I couldn't possibly stop what had been set in motion. I'd been unconsciously making my way back north for two weeks and the need to be here for this moment only got stronger with each passing mile. She was calling to me and I was powerless to resist, my willpower failing weeks before I admitted defeat.

I decided I would just have to trust that my speed would be enough to get me into the locker room without any witnesses. The ceremony was only minutes away and I was out of time to come up with a better solution. I made a hasty dash to the fire door--the alarm hadn't worked in years--and slithered into the locker room. I focused on the cacophony of mental voices in the vicinity to see if anyone had spotted me as I made my way inside, but all the thoughts were focused on what was going on inside of the gym.

Success! I was elated, and then subsequently completely ashamed at the way I celebrated my betrayal. I was breaking my last promise to her by being here and I was happy about it. I didn't deserve her.

I had decided on listening to Angela Weber first to ascertain the "voice" that would be the best view of Bella during the ceremony. Being at the end of the alphabet gave her the best vantage point while the students were lined up for the procession into the gymnasium. It also had the added advantages of being both familiar and pleasant to listen to. I tucked myself into the shower bay and focused on the thoughts of the graduates.

_…this cap makes me look ridiculous. Who in the world came up with these?? _

_I cannot believe those punks backed out. I thought going shirtless was a nice touch. It is kinda cold, though…_

_I hope Mom didn't spend much for my graduation gift. It's enough that she put down my housing deposit for first semester…._

I'd found her. Angela was thinking about practicalities in the kind way that was so inherently her. I let out a sigh of relief as I focused on seeing what she was seeing. Angela looked up the line to see her boyfriend, Ben Cheney, and that's when I saw her: my Bella.

She was as beautiful as my memory had preserved her, but there were changes. Differences I didn't expect. It seemed impossible, but she looked more fragile than even the first time I'd seen her. She was chewing on her lower lip. She was nervous. I could see her in Angela's peripheral vision, adjusting her cap. That familiar crease had taken residence between her brows, begging me to smooth it with my fingertips. I was practically bursting with joy at the sight of her.

I couldn't say she looked well, she was too uncomfortable and nervous, but to me she looked like an angel just waiting for her turn to come and rescue me from the hellish oblivion that had been my home for the better part of a year. It took every ounce of my strength to keep me in that locker room.

The band began the march and I watched through Angela's eyes as the senior class filed into the gymnasium for the ceremony. Bella's posture never seemed to relax through the march as I saw the way the graduates lined up for their seats, I realized that I needed to "tune in" to someone else as Angela's view of Bella would be obstructed by a rather large boy seated in front of her. I chose an unremarkable boy seated right behind Bella and refocused my attention just in time to see her trip on the very last step of her journey and fall clumsily into her chair. She blushed bright crimson as a wave of snickers swept through the crowd. I felt a surge of protectiveness flow through me and I pushed myself further into the shower area. It was getting harder and harder to stay in place.

Bella turned in her chair and I got a close up view of her heart-shaped face; her chocolate brown eyes full of questions and secrets, just as I remembered them. She was searching the crowd. I assumed she was looking for Charlie, his mental voice was hard to hear, but I sifted through the thoughts in the direction of her gaze and heard two distinctly familiar voices: Charlie and Jacob Black. Charlie was feeling more emotional than he was comfortable with and his thoughts were more just feelings of pride mixed with a deep sadness and something else, regret? What was Charlie regretting? I saw Bella smile at both of them.

_She makes clumsy look good. _ Jacob laughed. Apparently his infatuation with her hadn't died. I could hardly blame him. She was impossible to get over. But did that explain why he was there, seated with Charlie? He didn't even attend the high school. Maybe they were friends, then? Curious.

It occurred to me then that the best view of Bella would be from someone who was also there only to see her. Her father's thoughts, though not completely concealed like her own, were not entirely accessible to me, so I reluctantly settled on viewing the ceremony through Jacob Black's mind. Hopefully he was feeling well behaved this evening and wouldn't salivate over her too much. It wouldn't be good for him if he did….

_My Bella, oh the things I have planned for you. _I felt a snarl escape my lips at the tone of his words. Perhaps Jacob Black's crush had gotten a bit out of hand. Maybe it wasn't safe to listen to his mind.

_Focus, Edward, just look at her and tune him out._ I thought to myself.

_She'll have her arms around me soon enough. _Was this kid delusional? He didn't have a chance! Bella had turned her attention back to the stage as the commencement speech began. I decided to leave Jacob's unpleasant mind behind and listened through the other boy I'd used previously while the speech continued.

The speaker concluded and after a rather modest round of applause, retreated back to his seat in the rows of students. Ms. Goff took her place at the podium while Mr. Greene moved to the table of diplomas, prepared to shake hands with each graduate. At Ms. Goff's signal the first row of graduates stood up and filed out of their seats to wait by the steps to the stage. I realized quickly that I would have to use another mind in order to see Bella's face as she crossed the stage. Hesitantly, I worked my way back into the mind of Jacob Black, whose eyes I was quite sure would not deviate from Bella for the rest of the proceedings.

_Look at her plotting. Take a breath, Bells, you'll make it across the stage. _Jacob teased.

Hmm, her face did have a strategic air. She must be worried about those steps. I wished I could tell her about the railing; it was clearly not secure. I could see her muttering something to herself. What on earth was she thinking?

"Isabella Marie Swan." My heart swelled at the sound of her name called out like that. It sounded like poetry to me.

_Black. Isabella Marie Swan Black. _That's when I saw it. That's why Jacob was seated by Charlie. I'd been too preoccupied to notice before, but Jacob wasn't delusional. Jacob was Bella's boyfriend and if he had his way tonight, he would soon be her fiancé.

I collapsed to my knees and felt the tiles crumble with the force. _My God, what have I done?_

For an immeasurable moment my mind spun sickeningly in a downward spiral. I'd been so focused on seeing Bella's every move that I'd missed the most critical information in Jacob Black's mind. Now that I was paying attention, it was plain: my Bella had moved on. Jacob Black had the honor of being her comfort and shelter in my absence and was in the process of securing her hand. He sought to stake his claim on her forever, before anyone could take her away.

It was all there. The feeling of her hand in his palm. The feel of her breath on his neck. The silky touch of her hair against his cheek. I could feel venom coat my mouth as he remembered the softness of her lips on his own. I desperately tried to drown him out.

My emotions ran in circles from anguish to defiance to murderous anger and back again. Question after question assaulted me. Hadn't I meant for this to happen? Would she say yes? Did she love him? Was he good for her? How could I leave now? What was the right thing to do?

Right and wrong. In all the time I'd walked this earth, I'd never seen evidence that one such as I could earn redemption. That is, until I met Isabella Swan. She made me want to hope that there may be some salvation for me. In so many ways, it felt like doing right by her was saving me. Even if my soul was forfeit, it felt like a piece of me had left a mark on her soul and instead of tarnishing the whole, enhanced it ever so slightly. I'd come to the conclusion that there was only one right way left for that untarnished spirit: she had to proceed without me. I could no longer sit idly by while she stayed in constant danger and became more and more determined to throw away her future for me. I had to save her from myself. Being with me would cost her everything, and so I tried to walk away.

Yet here I was, forcing my presence upon her because I was too weak with selfishness to keep my promise to fade from her life and her memory forever. I was worse than a failure; I was a monster.

Despite that realization, I could not silence the beast inside that wanted nothing more than to whisk her away and keep her to myself for eternity. I wanted it badly enough that I would trade anything for it. I would kill for it. Consequences be damned. That part of me warred with the more noble part that demanded I flee this place and leave her in peace.

I was rendered temporarily paralyzed as the internal battle waged on, too lost in my agony to realize that someone was coming. I heard the door open and held my breath.

I was not in control of myself just then. Venom had been flowing in excess as the beast made plans to tear Jacob Black apart limb from limb. I couldn't afford to let the bloodlust get the best of me if I ever intended to win Bella back.

My head fell back against the tile wall as I thought of how far I'd come from the right path. Not only had I returned, but I was now plotting to reclaim Bella as my own. Apparently, the sound was loud enough to catch the attention of the human in the room.

The breathing of the visitor sped up along with his or her heart rate.

Odd. I hadn't heard any thoughts in the room, but the visitor took a step in the direction of the shower stalls.

I took a breath in quietly through my nose to learn more about my visitor and her scent hit me like a ton of bricks. "Is someone there?" Bella called out in an anxious voice. If she found me here like this, tortured and out of control, hiding on the shower floor, I didn't have a prayer of doing anything but frightening her.

But at that moment, I was overwhelmed by the desire to touch her face, to gaze into her eyes, to place her in my arms and run from this place with her into eternity. It took every ounce of my strength to stay rooted in that spot while my dead heart ached to let my eyes feast upon her. I couldn't last much longer and my rescuer came in the unlikely form of Jessica Stanley. She bounced into the locker room and started gushing at Bella, who made a hasty exit to avoid the emotional exchange.

I had to get out of there. I waited for Jessica to finish blotting the mascara from her tear-stained cheeks and make her way back out of the locker room. I made my way to the fire exit and prayed that I could speed my way out of there without notice. I didn't have the energy to care enough about being discreet as I blurred out of the building into the forest. As soon as I was sufficiently far enough to lose control, I sank to my knees and began to choke out tearless sobs.

There were two ways left to me: self-destruction or self-preservation. Right or wrong. How could I possibly choose?

Then a third option occurred to me. I would go to Italy and both keep Bella safe and end my earthly suffering once and for all. Hell would surely be easier than this or at the very least it would be different. I couldn't continue to exist in a world where Bella loved another and I hung over her world like a black cloud. It was time to go and I knew it.

APOV

"NO!" I held my head in my hands as my body crumpled to the floor. Jasper was at my side in a flash, sending waves of calm, but they had no noticeable affect. I was literally inconsolable.

"Ally, what's wrong? What did you see?" Jasper asked.

"E-Edward." I wasn't coherent. I had to make a plan, but I couldn't focus. "Jasper, please, I need to focus. Help me, please." He hit me with everything he had and my path became clear. If I left right then there was just enough time to cut him off at the airport. "I have to go, Jazz, NOW!"

"Alice, you're scaring me. I can feel your desperation, please darlin', explain this to me. Let me come with you." Jasper was concerned and I hated leaving him in such turmoil, but I could call him from the road. I was already at the door to the Porsche by the time he finished speaking.

"There isn't time to explain, Jazz, but you have to stay and get Esme and Carlisle. I'll call with instructions. I love you," I called out as I whipped the car from the garage and sped down the drive.

I grabbed my cell phone and made the call even though I knew he wouldn't listen to me. I had to hear his voice again, since there was a definite possibility that I'd never hear it again.

"I'm sorry Alice." Edward answered on the first ring and I was crying tearlessly.

"I know. I also know that there's nothing I can say, but Edward, there's another way. There's always another way."

"I love you, Alice." With that, he was gone.

Then, I smiled to myself. He selected the non-stop international flight into Frankfurt instead of Paris and I knew what he didn't: that Lufthansa flight was going to be behind schedule. I would be at the airport before he could leave. I don't know what made him choose one over the other, but the future changed in a decidedly positive way because he did. My brother wasn't going anywhere.

A/N: And the verdict is?


	4. Two Propositions

A/N: I have been forgetting to include my disclaimer: I am not SM, I just enjoy her work and playing with her characters. No illegalities intended.

I feel the need to apologize for the lengthy flashback in this chapter. I wish I could have found a way around it, but I didn't. Thanks for reading!

BPOV

Jacob felt warm and comforting as I clung to his back. I breathed in his familiar scent and pressed a kiss into his shoulder blade. All was right with the world again as we made our way towards La Push.

When he said he wanted to take me out, I was not all that pleased. Honestly, I needed calm and quiet this evening to let my mind process all that lay ahead of me. So, the last thing I wanted was some kind of romantic dinner out in Port Angeles or something.

Jake always seemed to know that kind of thing, though, and had explained that we were going to his place to have dinner. I was relieved to say the least.

La Push had been a sanctuary for me after the darkness descended upon me in October, though as time went on I felt less and less worthy of the support and peace I found there. I caused nothing but trouble and lived off them like a parasite. I needed that support system desperately, but all I did was take and take and take. I wasn't worth their time.

After what happened to Embry, I vowed never to inflict myself upon La Push and its residents again. I decided to move past my selfishness and try to survive on my own. Jacob had tried desperately to talk me out of my self-appointed exile, to no avail. The more he begged me, the more I wished I could just erase myself from his life. I could do nothing but hurt him. That's when I told him not to come to me anymore. I told him that I never wanted to see him again and that he was no longer to try to contact me. I thought it was the right thing to do at the time.

It wasn't until Sam arrived at my door that I saw how unbelievably wrong I had been.

Charlie had been at his wit's end as to what to do with me. He didn't understand why I was taking Embry's death so hard; he'd barely known Embry. Of course, he didn't know that I blamed myself for what happened. I couldn't talk to him about it.

I know he was contemplating calling for Renee again. He was terrified that I was slipping back into the zombie-like coma from which I had only recently awoken.

_I heard the knock on the front door and Charlie's feet shuffle across the floor to answer. I couldn't make out what was said, but detected a hint of reluctance in Charlie's tone. _

_I was shocked when I heard footsteps on the stairs. Charlie knew better than to ask me to see anyone. I was in no state for visitors. _

_"Forget it, Ch-Dad. Whoever it is can just go away." _

_I gasped when I looked up to see the door open quickly without even a knock. Standing before me, looking completely careworn was Sam Uley. Before I could even ask him what he was doing there, I heard the front door open again. I ran to the window to see Charlie pulling out of the drive in the cruiser. _

_To be perfectly honest, I was terrified. What on earth was Sam doing in my room? Moreover, why did we need to be alone? I could feel my pulse quicken and my breathing go shallow. _

_"Bella," he said my name in a sigh. I had never seen Sam look so concerned. He was always so straight-faced and strong looking. It was disarming to see him wearing emotions on his face as if he just couldn't fight them back anymore. _

_"Sam?" I had no idea what to say. I contemplated falling to my knees in front of him to beg his forgiveness, but even that seemed a selfish thing. I didn't really deserve his forgiveness. It would have been more fitting to drop to my knees and ask for punishment. _

_Before I could attempt either action, he spoke, "I need you, Bella." _

_"Wh…what?" I stammered. I didn't know what to expect from him, but this definitely wasn't it. What could he need from me?_

_"My family is torn apart. You are the only one who can put us back together. I need you, Bella." _

_He repeated those four words and they swirled around in my brain, but I couldn't grab them and construct them into anything more meaningful. I couldn't help him. I wanted to, but I wasn't the life preserver on the boat, I was the anchor. I couldn't save you in the storm, only drag you to the depths with me and keep you trapped in the same danger that I didn't seem to be able to avoid._

_"I have nothing to offer you," I admitted, willing him to understand and accept that truth. _

_"That's true." I had thought I'd wanted his agreement, but it still tore at me. It was hard to hear that I truly was no good. _

_"But, you're not for me." I must have looked puzzled at his words because he let out an exasperated sigh and sat down in the chair in the corner of my room, as if he'd need to get comfortable as it would take time to get through to me. _

_I sat on the bed in the uncomfortable silence. His eyebrows were creased together and his jaw was tight. I was afraid of what would come next. _

_"Bella, why won't you see Jacob?"_

_OK, he clearly wasn't going for subtle. "Isn't it obvious?" I replied. He looked at me incredulously. Apparently, he was expecting a real answer. I decided the simplest answer was the best. _

_"I don't deserve him." _

_  
__"It never stopped you before." His comment stung and I felt the tears well up in my eyes. _

_"Let me finish. What makes you think he wants you because you deserve him?" I had no idea what he was getting at. Jacob might have wanted me despite my being no good for him, but that didn't mean that I couldn't look out for him by staying away. I was about to say that very thing when Sam began to speak again. _

_"You know when we're in wolf form we share a mind connection. I have seen you through his eyes. I have seen what you are to him. I can feel his love for you. How can you do this to him? He just lost Embry. He cannot lose you as well."_

_I was stunned. I realized then that Sam and I had no secrets. Sam knew exactly who and what I was. Yet here he was, asking me to help him. _

_"I can't love him back the way he deserves."_

_"You haven't tried." _

_"I don't know if I can…" I replied lamely, the tears rolling in earnest now. _

_"It should be Jacob giving this to you, but since you won't see him…." Sam trailed off as he pulled an intricately braided bracelet out of his jeans pocket. I recognized that the style was similar to what Emily wore on her left hand. I had admired it before. _

_"What is that?" _

_"It's a Quileute version of a promise ring. You're familiar with those?" If I thought it was hard to breathe before, it was downright impossible now. A promise ring, why give me THAT? _

_"WHAT!" I croaked. I could feel all the blood drain from my face. The room spun on its side and I threw my head between my knees to keep from passing out right there. Sam jumped down from the chair and came to my feet, bracelet still in his hand. He placed one hand on my chin and lifted my face so he could look into my eyes. His dark eyes were so like Jacob's that I felt momentarily lost in them. _

_"It should be Jacob doing this. But, you won't see him. I have seen him do this in his head many, many times. I need you to see him when you look at me right now. Do you understand?"_

_I only nodded mutely. I was beyond words at that point. _

_"Isabella Swan, I am tied to you body and soul. I will never feel for another the way I feel for you. I know your heart is broken and your spirit is weak, but, I promise to spend my life making you whole again, as you have made me whole already. Will you please promise to allow me this honor?" _

_I could hear Jacob in those words. Jacob wanted me to promise to let him continue to be my savior. Could I promise that? Is that really what he wants?_

_"Sam, how can this be what's right for him?" _

_"I don't know the future, Bella, but I do know that this is the only path for you right now. Jacob cannot be without you and our family cannot continue in this misery. We all need you as he does now. We're inextricably linked to each other now. Accepting this bracelet won't change that fact."_

_When he put it that way, it was obvious. I had already made this promise the night that Harry Clearwater died. When I offered myself to Jacob, broken and lifeless. He'd accepted me then. I wouldn't refuse him now. _

_"Sam, I'm going to say this to Jacob. I know he'll see this memory from you."_

_"Yes," was all he responded. _

_I took his face in my hands and stared into his eyes seeing my Jacob's eyes in my mind. _

_"I promise." With that Sam tied the bracelet on my wrist and exited my room. _

La Push was my second home from that point on. I was part of the pack.

I felt the wind whip against my body as we sped towards home on the bike, and it felt cleansing. I let the jitters of the evening disengage themselves from my body with each lick of cool air. I still didn't know what Jake had planned, but it couldn't be too bad if we were going to stay around La Push.

I was so, so wrong. We got to the house and I instantly knew something was amiss. The entry was just so…clean?

"I thought maybe I'd cook for you for a change. You're always fussing over me and Charlie, I thought you might like a break for the evening." I blinked at him. He smiled back in amusement.

"Since when do you cook?" I asked doubtfully. I really was hungry; please let him make something edible.

"OK, I'm a rotten liar. Emily made the food ahead of time and told me to tell you I did it."

I couldn't hide the relief on my face and Jake chuckled at me. I mouthed sorry at him and he winked at me.

He wouldn't let me do anything to help. The table was already set for two and he lit candles and put some music on. He dished out the food and poured water into my glass from a pitcher. I was impressed. He really was trying hard to wow me.

The food was absolutely delicious, though I finished in about half the time that Jacob did. He ate so much these days. When we were finished I made a move to clear the table and start cleaning up, but Jake grabbed my arm and eased me back into my seat.

"Those can wait. I'm not done yet." He smiled at me mischievously and I nervously took his hand as he led me out of the house. We walked down the beach and that's when I saw it.

Jake had set hundreds of tea light candles around our tree. The tree where we'd had so many conversations and spent so much time just being with each other. It was breathtaking.

"What on earth?" I couldn't form a coherent sentence. He led me to our usual spot, but didn't join me sitting down.

"How did you do this?" I asked him.

"Well I had a little help," he admitted and I smiled at him. I'd have to thank the guys for pitching in to make this special for me. It was so sweet. It was a perfect post-graduation surprise, simple, but elegant. Jake really knew me.

We sat there in silence for a while just enjoying the ambience and the peaceful whooshing of the waves against the shore. Jake wrapped me up in his arms to keep me warm; the nights were still cool in May.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked him.

"The future, actually." He shifted from underneath me and set me on his leg so I could face him. His expression was unreadable.

"It's coming for us, I think. I can feel it," I said in my best soothsayer impersonation. He laughed at my fortune-telling, but his smile didn't reach his eyes.

"Actually it is coming for us." His mood shifted and I started to feel nervous. Where was he going with this? He stood up in front of me, keeping my hands in his. Then he dropped to one knee.

"Jake?" I gasped. He couldn't. He wouldn't.

"Bells, let me get this out and then you can freak out properly, please." He grinned at me. I was actually irritated, but completely speechless at that point.

"Bella, honey, you are it for me. I want to make it official. Will you marry me?"

I stared at him in unmasked horror. Without thinking, I just ran for it. My bike was in the garage and I just grabbed the keys from the shed and bolted. It took me a minute to realize he was giving me this time to freak out. He could have caught me easily on foot and kept me from leaving if he wanted to, but he was giving me this.

What could I give him?

A/N: Am I the only one that can see her doing that? Such a spaz…


	5. SeaTac

A/N: I much prefer to write BPOV, but we need to pay Edward a visit at Sea-Tac….Thanks for reading! As always, I do not own these characters, SM does.

EPOV

"_Holy crap! What is WRONG with that guy? Please don't be on my flight, please don't be on my flight.." _

The woman's frightened proclamation plucked me from my desperate stupor and I realized that I'd completely let the human mask fall from my face. All the minds in my immediate vicinity were awash with thoughts about my unusual appearance and behavior and more than one of the minds had decided to flee for safety. I tried to find it in me to care, but there was just nothing left. All I could do was hold on to my determination to put an end to this existence as quickly as possible. I had to hold onto my resolve to let Bella live her life or I'd be on my way back to Forks at any moment. My unnatural stillness was a strong ally in the battle to keep me in my place at Seattle International Airport, waiting for my exit strategy to arrive.

Of course, the plane was delayed. I should have hopped the flight to Paris instead, but something about being in the city of love didn't sit well with me at the ticket counter and I impulsively opted for the flight into Frankfurt. How ridiculous that seemed now that I was stuck in this purgatory for another several hours.

I stared at nothing and saw nothing. The mental voices around me were nothing more than an annoying buzzing in my head. It seemed so unfitting that others should be speaking, albeit silently in their minds, while I prepared for my death march. A sick urge to start shouting "Dead Man Walking" planted itself in my head and I laughed darkly at the thought. Perhaps I should scare off as many passengers as possible so the flight wasn't very full. This could end badly with my present state of mind being what it is. I wasn't thirsty at all, but I felt decidedly out of control and with my strength alone that's cause for concern for the humans in my immediate area.

I was able to keep from acting on some of my more insane impulses, but I never made it all the way to being able to pretend to be human. It would have to be enough to just get through the flight as "that creepy guy who looks like he might shoot us all and take the plane down with him," as a college girl who was waiting for the same flight so she could start a summer abroad program put it.

"_You didn't honestly think I would let you get away with this."_

I heard her mental voice before I saw her. "Alice," I sighed her name in a low growl. A young woman seated nearby actually picked up her carry on and scampered away at the sound of it.

"_You need to control yourself, Edward. There are people here. You're frightening them." _

I rolled my eyes at that even though she couldn't see me yet. "I really don't care, Alice." I whispered loud enough for her to hear and to further discomfit the people around me.

She turned the corner then and I was suddenly filled with gratitude that she was there. I could feel it fill my chest and I was sure if I had the ability to cry that my eyes would be swimming in tears at the sight of her. I was glad I got to see her again one more time. She was my little sister for all intents and purposes and I was glad I'd been graced with her companionship all these years. It would be hard to say goodbye, but it was a gift to get to say it.

Alice came straight to my side and laid her hand on top of my own on the armrest of the chair I was seated in. "Hi," she greeted me simply.

"Hello, Alice. I would ask you what you were doing here, but it really doesn't matter to me. I'm glad you came." I smiled at her and took her hand to lead her away from the other travelers and give us some privacy.

"Start at the beginning," She demanded as soon as we were out of human earshot. I sighed a chuckle and ran a hand through my hair before responding.

"There isn't much to say. You know as well as I do what a mess I've made of things. It's just time to rectify that, my Day of Reckoning, if you will."

"That's bull, Edward and you know it. Tell me why you're in Seattle. Tell me why you're flying to Europe. Tell me why I see you shining in the Italian sun. Tell me something real." I was taken aback by her anger. It was screaming in her thoughts, _"How could you even think about doing this to me? To Esme? To Carlisle? You cannot do this to us, you selfish little jerk." _

I was temporarily stunned by her feelings of pure betrayal. I hadn't stopped to think about how much this was going to hurt my family. I suppose I had hoped that they would understand why I couldn't continue on this path after seeing how poorly I'd endured the last seven months of hell on earth. I'd tried for them, really I had. I had every intention of staying with them, but I'd run out of strength. Couldn't they see that? Couldn't they respect it? Shouldn't they?

"You want to hear something real. Ok. It worked, Alice. She's going to be married to a human." Alice's face twisted into a mixture of shock and confusion at my words. "But, how is that possible? What—I can't even…How?" She trailed off, absolutely perplexed at my words. I looked up at the arrivals/departures board to see where we stood on time. I didn't want to miss my flight or my chance to have some closure with my sister.

"She's going to live the life I dreamed of for her. What more is there to do? It's time to move on and I can only think of one way to do that." I choked on the words as I pinched the bridge of my nose and scrunched my eyes together. This conversation was taking a toll on me. I looked back down to Alice as I finished speaking to see her eyes glazed over with her fingertips pressed into her temples.

"No! No, Alice! You mustn't look! Please, I don't want to see!" I shut my eyes as if that would keep me from seeing the visions in Alice's head of Bella happy with another man. I braced myself for the onslaught of unpleasant images, but all I saw was mist and haze. Bella's future was unreachable. I began to panic. Was I wrong to assume that her future was bright? Had I acted too rashly? Was I missing some key piece of information?

"What does it mean, Alice?" I begged her, grabbing both of her arms in my hands and pleading with her using my eyes.

"I don't know, Edward. I don't know. I'm sorry, I can't SEE!" Alice was just as panicked as I. She seemed to be vibrating physically with her agitation. Just then, the gate attendant's voice came over the loudspeaker to begin boarding the plane. I struggled internally. If I didn't leave now, I wasn't sure I could make myself leave again.

"Where is she now, Alice? Can you see her now?" I saw a vision of Bella holding a helmet, on her knees in front of our house outside of Forks. She was sobbing hysterically.

"I don't know where she is right now, but wherever that is, it's leading her to our house some time tonight. I have no idea if we can be back in time, but we have to try, Edward. Please, we have to make sure she's alright."

I couldn't argue with her. Right or wrong ceased to matter to me as soon as I'd seen the image of Bella sobbing on her knees in our drive. I had to go to her, every cell in my body cried out at once.

"The car isn't far. It's the fastest option." Alice, said already knowing what I'd decided. We left in silence and drove as quickly as possible back home, back to her.


	6. Talking to Ghosts

A/N: Several things: 1) thanks for reading and reviewing! Love you! 2) I borrow a line from the New Moon here and have it quoted. I am too lazy to look up the page #, but it ain't mine and I don't mean to imply that it is. I also borrow something from J.K. Rowling...i wonder if any of you will recognize it... 3) I'm sorry if this is chock full of errors. I wanted to post it ASAP so Kristen wouldn't be mad at me. It should be error-free (or at least lighter on errors) by saturday and I will repost the edited version as soon as i can. 4) the italics might be confusing...i'm hoping not. 5) i know the mansion isn't technically in Forks. I couldn't find another way to work that line. Please excuse it or make a suggestion...6) this a/n is way too long....

As always, I do not own twilight or its characters and no copyright infringement is intended.

BPOV

I didn't know where I was driving to at first. It took until the bend just before their drive for me to realize that I'd gone hunting for ghosts.

This could not possibly be the proper reaction to a proposal, could it?

Why was I turning down this drive? What could I ever hope to find here? Closure? Fat chance. _He_ made absolutely certain that I'd never have that. No answers. No hope for a future with _him_. A clean break. According to him, I'd go on like he never existed. My "human memory is no more than a seive" after all. So why was it that hispresence still lingered around me and over me like a thick fog, disturbing my thoughts and distorting my vision?

I'd spent a lot of time over the past eight months considering these things and finally decided that he'd simply forgotten that my mind didn't work properly. He'd made that wreckless promise to me without entertaining the idea that I might not be normal enough to enjoy the clemency that time supposedly granted the broken-hearted. The truth was that I would never heal fully because of my quirky brain that both kept him locked out of my thoughts, but locked into my memory. I'd developed a bitter acceptance of that fact.

I pulled up to a stop about thirty feet from the porch. It was unusually clear tonight and the moonlight bounced off the mansion. The juxtaposition of the ethereal, light structure against the now overgrown, dark surrounding forest made the mansion's otherworldliness all the more apparent. It was a perfect signature to leave behind as a reminder of their godlike superiority. I let out a sigh and sunk to my knees in the drive.

Why was I here?

I just stayed there, staring at the house while the cool air numbed my cheeks. The ground was damp and I began to shiver. For a moment, I imagined the cold caress of the wind was his breath on my face. I closed my eyes and pleaded with myself to believe that he was gone and never coming back.

_This is sick, Bella. Sick and wrong. Jake proposes and you go searching out anything to make **him** real? Who does that, Bella? Who? _

_He_ still haunted me. Despite my best efforts to convince myself that I had been nothing more than a distraction for him, something to break up the monotony of his limitless existence, my mind stupidly clung to the sound of his voice, the set of his jaw, the feel of his hand on my cheek.

"LIAR!" I shouted toward the house as I began to sob in earnest. "Rotten, cruel, despicable LIAR!" I called again into the night. "You didn't keep ANY of your promises!"

He left me alone, but he'd never really leave me alone. I was stuck with the memory of _him_ and there was no escaping it. Jake had done more than I could have ever asked or imagined to take away the burden he left behind for me and I still felt my sanity slip from time to time when my mind had time to wander.

I'd still hear _his_ voice on occasion and dream about him regularly. Lately the dreams had become more disturbing. I dreamt of Jake often, but from time to time _he'd_ make an appearance in an otherwise normal dream of Jake and I on our bikes or sitting on the beach. I'd look over Jake's shoulder and there _he_ would be, looking for all the world like he didn't even know my name. Hisface showed no trace of recognition. I'd run toward him, calling out his name, upon which he'd smile his crooked smile and promptly disappear. I always woke up screaming from those dreams.

This had to stop. I didn't have any idea how to answer Jake, but I had to close the door on this house and what it represented once and for all. I couldn't even begin to ponder Jake's question before I'd done that. That's why I was here. I would speak to the ghosts and ask them to leave me in peace.

"Edward." It physically pained me to say his name, but that was part of the problem. I couldn't let these emotions control me anymore. I had to address him directly.

"I'm here to say goodbye. You know I'm not even sure anymore that I ever really knew you. I was so sure, so sure of you and me and us. But, Edward, I'm not sure of anything anymore except that I can't keep this up." The more I talked, the easier it became to say his name and lay these words down like bricks from my load. I was laying my burden down at the feet of the only physical remnant left of Edward Cullen in Forks.

"I'm tired, Edward. So tired. Tired of living this half-life and hurting the people around me by being less than they need me to be." I pleaded with the cool, May air. "You have to let me go, Edward. Let me go, please." I choked on the last few words and buried my head in my hands.

"I can't." Oh, God. I'm officially delusional. I should not have heard a response.

I lifted my head from my hands and saw the face I'd never expected to see again appear slowly in my field of vision just before it all went black.

A/N: Oh darn that's another cliffie, isn't it? Blame my husband for begging me to come to bed at a reasonable hour. ;) Love you all for reading! Drop me a review!


	7. Observations

A/N: Thanks again for reading! A few things: 1) I'm keeping these chapters short so I can update more often. Would it be preferable to make the chapters longer and only update like once a week? If I keep doing these how I have been, I will probably be able to update two to three times per week. Let me know if longer chapters would be better and I'll start doing that. 2) If you're going to leave a negative review, please register so I can respond to it. Constructive criticism is welcome, but I can't engage in a dialogue with you if you don't leave a name. *cough* grow a pair *cough*. 3) the answers are coming…hold out through this chapter and the next and a lot of things will be more clear. 4) Big thanks to Kristen for correcting my continuity errors in this chapter! You're awesome, girl!! Thanks for sticking it out!

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EPOV

"Edward." If it had been possible, my heart would have been pounding wildly inside of my chest at the sound of my name passing through her lips. I had no idea what brought her to the house, but she was calling for me. I ran even faster than I'd ever thought possible before to get to my angel.

"I'm here to say goodbye. You know I'm not even sure anymore that I ever really knew you. I was so sure, so sure of you and me and us. But, Edward, I'm not sure of anything anymore, except that I can't keep this up." If it had been possible, my heart would have stopped dead at her words. She was saying goodbye? I came to a halt just yards away from the clearing around the house and fell to my knees on the wet underbrush.

My mind struggled to interpret her behavior. Why was she here, telling me goodbye after Jacob Black's proposal? Had she said yes?

Alice caught up with me and put her hand on my shoulder as we listened, clenching it more tightly than seemed necessary. Before I could ask her to back off and give us some privacy, Bella spoke again.

"I'm tired, Edward. So tired. Tired of living this half-life and hurting the people around me by being less than they need me to be. You have to let me go, Edward." Every word she spoke struck me like the lash of a whip, painful and sharp. Everything about her seemed weary and weakened. She looked defeated and at that moment I felt like her captor. Like me, she had been trapped in the pain of our separation. "Let me go, please." Her emotions overtook her as her speech concluded and her head sunk into her hands.

I couldn't stay hidden any longer. I had to face the fallout of my crimes against her; mens rea had no bearing on this case. Knowingly or not, I'd broken this precious creature and I wouldn't hide from it any longer.

I stepped out from the woods, shaking off Alice's hands from my arms and spoke the only words that would come to me at the time: "I can't."

I heard her heart stutter as she lifted her head and met my eyes with her own. It thudded loudly before she lost consciousness.

"BELLA!" I screamed as I darted over to her to check her vital signs. "Alice, help me!" Alice came to my side as I frantically worked over Bella. I could find nothing physically wrong with her, which was simultaneously relieving and concerning. "There's nothing wrong with her, Alice, but she's still out. We have to run her to the hospital." My thoughts became more and more hysterical as the seconds ticked by while Bella lay in my arms unmoving aside from her shallow breathing.

"Edward, you have to listen to me." I looked at Alice confusedly and then gasped as I saw the images play through her head of Bella waking to find us there. It was a disaster. "Listen to me, Edward. She's going to wake up in another ninety seconds and we cannot be here when that happens. She's too fragile right now, Edward. We can only scare her if we stay."

She was right, of course. I'd seen the vision of Bella screaming at the sight of us and retreating into a nearly catatonic state of awareness as we drove her to Carlisle. She was not ready to see us here like this, but I couldn't fathom leaving her here for a thousand reasons, not the least of which was her safety.

"Alice, how will she get home? We can't just leave her here!"

"Of course not, I've considered it already. Honestly, Edward, what kind of person do you think I am? She's my friend as well." She huffed. Alice was more irritated than I would have anticipated. Her behavior was confusing and disconcerting, but I didn't have time to think about it. "She'll get herself back to Charlie's safely. We'll send someone to check on her once she's there. We have to **go**, Edward. NOW."

I clutched my angel to my chest tightly and whispered in her ear, "I won't be far, my love."

Alice and I retreated back into seclusion of the woods just before Bella stirred. She was clearly shaken and didn't stay long. As soon as she'd collected herself, she got on her bike and sped off. When did she get a motorcycle? How could Charlie let her be so careless? It was like death on wheels. I was angry that the people in her life hadn't been taking better care of her and keeping her safe. Clearly, I couldn't trust other people to treat her the way I would. I would never let her risk herself so senselessly. She was far too precious to me.

Alice took out her cell phone to dial Jasper and instructed him to send Carlisle to Bella's to make sure she got home safely. Jasper and Esme arrived at the house a few minutes later and met us in the living room.

"Edward," Esme came to me and put her arms around me. "Mom, I'm sorry." I whispered to her as I shook with anxiety and unshed tears. "Hush, darling. It's going to be alright now. You're home." Her thoughts were bittersweet, caught between her joy at having me in her arms after all these months and her sorrow at the circumstances of our reunion. I pulled back from her and saw the hope in her eyes and couldn't help but feel comforted at having her by my side again.

"Tell us what all of this is about, Edward? Why are you here? What happened to Bella? Why did you send Carlisle to her home?" Esme was full of questions as was I. I looked at Alice and Jasper, who had been locked in one of their touchless embraces and began to sort through all the thoughts swirling around in my mind.

It struck me then that Alice was having a problem. I could hear her trying to devise a way to gain some privacy with Jasper without tipping me off. Tipping me off to what?

"Mary Alice Brandon, what are you keeping from me?" Her mind flipped back to keeping me out; she was reciting the names of the wives of King Henry and the circumstances of each of their deaths.

Carlisle returned and stole my focus. _She's safe. She's home._ He calmed me first with his thoughts before addressing all of us. "Family meeting."

I groaned, but followed the others into the dining room. The table and chairs were covered with drop cloths, so we stood as we waited for Carlisle to begin. He was having trouble finding a place to start.

"Just begin at the beginning, Carlisle. What happened when you arrived at Bella's house?" I asked him.

Carlisle sighed and described how she arrived still visibly shaken, but in one piece. Charlie tried, unsuccessfully, to get her talking, but she retreated quickly to her room where she remained until Carlisle left.

"There must be more, Carlisle, get to the point." I was getting frustrated and it was becoming more and more difficult to stay at the house while the missing half of my heart called to me from the Swan Residence.

"Edward, son, did you notice anything when you were near Bella this evening? Anything off about her?" Of course, I had. She was even paler than I remembered and her eyes had dark circles underneath them like she hadn't been sleeping well. Her hair had lost some of its luster and her frame looked smaller, like she'd lost some weight. Why did that matter to him?

Then it hit me, "Her scent! Carlisle she smelled…badly." I had been so preoccupied that I'd forgotten that she smelled vaguely of wet dog. "I thought so, too." Alice added. "What does it mean, Carlisle?"

"Did you recognize the scent Edward? We've smelled similar before."

I searched my mind briefly before I came to the startling realization that I did recognize the scent. "It can't be!" I growled.

"What is it? Please someone explain this for the rest of us!" Esme begged.

"Werewolves, Esme. The scent was all around Bella's house. She has a werewolf taking some kind of interest in her and it would seem she knows this wolf if Edward could smell it on her person."

"I thought the wolves died out, Carlisle? How can this possibly be?" I didn't want to believe him, but the scent was all over her when I had clutched her tightly to my chest. Her normal scent of freesia was there underneath, but masked by the overpowering stench of dog. Could she be close to a wolf? Did she have some kind of death wish? Only Bella would search out the company of a supernatural man-dog.

"Edward, the tribe has produced new wolves. I don't know why, but I could distinguish at least three different scents around her home. One more concentrated than all the others, but they are there. There's a pack in La Push."

"What do we do, Carlisle?"

Alice interjected before Carlisle could answer me, "I didn't want to mention this until I'd figured out what was going on, but my vision is…off."

"What do you mean, off?" I questioned. Alice sighed and looked me straight in the eyes before she spoke. "It would appear that I cannot 'see' the wolves." Esme gasped. Jasper stepped closer to Alice as Carlisle searched my eyes to see how I would react to this development. I was too stunned to speak. We'd never come across a being that Alice couldn't "see". It just never happened. I didn't know what to make of it.

_I'm so sorry, Edward. _Alice thought. I didn't understand at first what she was apologizing for, but her face was pained and she wore an expectant expression, like a child wears when waiting for a spanking from their mother's paddle. I looked at her incredulously, "Alice you have nothing to apologize for. It's a complication, but no one expects you to be infallible." She visibly relaxed at my words. What must she think of me that she was afraid of my reaction? How could she think that I'd be angry with her for this?

I suddenly realized how badly I'd treated my family during these long, dark months in my own personal hell. I'd alienated them all without thinking of the repercussions. I couldn't see past my own pain long enough to see the collateral damage my family suffered. I was momentarily overwhelmed with guilt before Jasper sent a wave of reassurance toward me, showing me that my family loved me unconditionally, even if I had been a complete and total ass. It was more than I deserved and I nodded my gratitude toward him.

Jasper refocused on the issue at hand. "Carlisle, I think we need to do some reconnaissance and get an idea of what we're dealing with here." That's Jasper, ever the strategist.

"I agree." Carlisle was on the same page as Jasper and he began giving out assignments. "I am going to the hospital to see if there have been any reports of injuries consistent with werewolf activities or any deaths for that matter. Jasper, start doing a sweep of the area surrounding the mansion. We need to know if we're at risk of coming across wolves near to the house. It wouldn't do to surprise them. Alice, Edward you need to check the online archive of newspapers from while we were gone. Make sure to note any obituaries that seem suspicious." I nodded and pulled my iPhone out to get started. Having a plan calmed me considerably.

My mind began to wander through all the events of the evening. I was puzzled by several observations: 1) Bella drove to our home after Jacob's proposal, but she wore no ring in the drive; 2) Bella smelled so strongly of dog that she must have been touching one at some point in the day; and 3) Bella drove to our home to tell me goodbye. Was there any hope at all for a future with her if she was ready to put the past behind her? Furthermore, was it right to even push for a future with her? Should I step aside? Could I?

I shook my head at how far I'd come from just hours ago when I'd only been here to "see her graduate." How did I go from there to now being determined to win her back? I was going to break every promise I'd ever made to myself and the last promise I made to her before I left her in the woods that day in October. What kind of monster was I? I don't think there's a villain in history that rivaled me in selfishness and capacity to destroy.

Yet I couldn't help but feel that our story wasn't over. I consoled myself with the fact that it would appear that she hadn't readily accepted the proposal. Perhaps this wasn't her happily ever after and she _needed_ me still. Maybe that's why she came to the house. Maybe she didn't know what I was sure of now: We could not be separated again.

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A/N: 1) it's like the middle of the night so Carlisle will be perusing the hospital's records in stealth mode. He's not walking up to the front door and saying, "hey I'm back. Let me take a look at the good stuff." 2) I realize their internet would probably have been disconnected when they left, so we're pretending that Alice and Edward have iphones. 

if you have questions, please ask them! Thanks again for reading! I appreciate it!


	8. Real Reality

A/N: Thanks for reading! I am a bit behind on responding to reviews. If I haven't replied to yours, I promise I will! Thanks to everyone who put this story on alert and/or added it to their favorites. As I've mentioned before, I'm putting these up in a hurry and editing after they're already posted. So if you'd like to read a less error-filled chappie, just wait a couple days after the update notice to read. LOL!

BPOV

I almost couldn't believe that I'd made it home safely; after all, I was totally off my rocker. But, I pulled up to my house relatively unscathed (I did scrape my face a bit on the gravel in the Cullen's drive when I passed out) and practically flew to the door.

I paused on the top step to compose myself before entering. I needed to get grounded back in reality. Reality was Charlie watching a Mariners game in his recliner while drinking some Vitamin R. Reality was _not_ hearing the velvety voice of Edward Cullen in the middle of the night at an abandoned house. Somewhere in the course of the evening's events, I had lost my connection with the here and now, and I couldn't help but think that opening this door was the key to my long term success in terms of staying out of a straight jacket. Either I'd open this door and find the real reality I sought, or I'd find Bella's Special Universe, in which, mythical creatures spoke to you on command regardless of whether or not they still existed in the same space and time as you.

_Please be normal. Please be normal. _I chanted to myself as I opened the door to reveal…reality. Thank you, God. Really, I mean that.

Charlie's head popped up and turned toward me when he heard me enter. His expression was somewhere between shock and amusement. I wondered why he was so enthralled with my entry, normally he would only grunt in recognition of my return home at the end of an evening. Then I realized two things: 1) I looked like hell and 2) Charlie knew what Jake had planned for our evening together. Crap. There would be talking…

I futilely tried to straighten myself up a bit before facing Charlie. "Bells?" He questioned, with that same look of amusement on his face only now mixed with a bit of confusion.

"Hey, Dad," I sighed. "Who's winning?" I asked in an attempt to delay his questioning.

"The Mariners are up 2-1. Since when do you care about baseball?" He replied with a quirk of his eyebrow. The amusement was starting to win out over his confusion and he looked like he might start laughing at any moment.

"I don't really I guess…" I trailed off. Out of topics to surreptitiously introduce, I decided to just rip the bandaid off, so to speak, and get this out of the way. No point in delaying the inevitable. "Alright, let's have it. What do you want to know?"

His mouth smiled, but his eyes were cautious as he asked casually, "How was your evening?"

"Fine," I replied coolly.

"You, uh, well sweetie, you look like there might be more to it than that. You have some dust on your face there." He pointed to my forehead and stifled a chuckle. _Oh, you think this is funny, do you? _

"Charlie, what were you _thinking_ letting him propose to me?" I glared at him. I was angry.

"Woah, now, Bella, calm down. I didn't _let_ him do anything. He did what he wanted to do. What should I have done? Talked him out of it?" Charlie asked incredulously.

"Well now that you mention it, YES! Yes, that's exactly what you should have done! Please at least tell me you didn't _encourage_ this!" I could feel the tears starting to form behind my eyes as my vision started getting blurry. Stupid angry tear response.

Charlie was getting fired up, too, which was unusual for him. He actually stood before addressing my fiercely. "Bella, that kid is the best thing that ever happened to you. He treats you like a princess. He protects you without holding you back. He watches out for you and makes you laugh. He loves you, honey. Can you blame a father for wanting the guy who brought his daughter back to life when it seemed impossible to stick around? I mean is it so hard to understand that I might want you to stay with him?" His eyes beseeched me to see things from his perspective. I was trying, really I was, but I was just too tired and mixed up to think about his reasoning. I needed to settle down and be alone with my thoughts for awhile. There was just too much to process.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to blame you. I know it's not your fault." I sighed as he sank back into the recliner defensively.

"I'm just not really ready for this conversation right now, Dad. I'm going to bed."

Charlie still looked a bit hurt, but he nodded at me. "Okay, baby. Get some rest. Jake will be here tomorrow evening for dinner. He's bringing Billy, too."

I clenched my teeth together and had to count to ten to keep from blowing up at him again. I didn't know if I'd be ready to see Jacob in less than 24 hours. But of course, they made these plans without consulting me. I huffed a "goodnight" to him and went upstairs to get ready for bed.

I got into my pajamas and went to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. When I left the bathroom, I heard Charlie on the phone. _Who could he be calling at this time of night? _I decided to give in to my curiosity and listen to see if I could figure out who it was on the other end of the line.

"Yeah, she made it home just fine. I hope you know what you're doing, son. She didn't look so hot."

My blood boiled. You _have_ to be kidding me. He called Jake? Ugh, those two were infuriating! "Ok. I'll be sure to tell her. Bye, Jake." Charlie hung up and I shuffled back to my bedroom and shut the door a little more loudly than normal. I hope Charlie realized I'd heard that phone call. He needed to remember where his allegiance should lie.

I climbed into bed, mentally and emotionally exhausted. What made the men in my life think they could do as they pleased without thinking of what it would mean for me? When had I become invisible? They had been treating me with kid gloves since October. I knew the why, but the question was when would it end? Was I ever going to be trusted to run my own life again?

Then I had a sickening thought as I remembered my brief mental lapse in the Cullen drive. Maybe I couldn't be trusted to run my life. Maybe I needed Jake and Charlie to look out for me like they always did. Was I being ungrateful?

These thoughts and feelings were getting me nowhere. I decided that counting sheep would be more productive and was pleasantly surprised that sleep found me quickly.

A/N: originally this should have been where EPOV came back into play, but it's late and my kids just got home from being out WITHOUT me all night! I'm calling it a night! Leave me a review!!!


	9. Discoveries

EPOV

"I'm sorry, Edward. There's no other explanation that I can see. Embry Call was killed by a vampire." Alice stared at me intently as she waited for me to digest her startling revelation. We'd only been searching the archives for fifteen minutes, when she found the article. It was worded simply, indicating that a seventeen-year-old Quileute boy by the name of Embry Call was killed in an animal attack while hiking. Of course, if you knew to read between the lines as we did, you could see that no evidence of the "animal" persisted after its encounter with Embry Call and the other Quileute men that were present on the hike escaped injury entirely.

So, the wolves lost a packmate in an altercation with unknown vampires. Carlisle mentioned three distinct scents around Bella's home. Is it possible that one or two vampires were strong enough to kill a wolf in a fight, in which, they were outnumbered?

The portion of our kind that adheres to the "traditional" diet, from which my family abstains, typically travel alone or in pairs. James' coven was unique in having even three members. It seemed unlikely that another large coven would arrive in Forks and engage the wolves, though I was beginning to wonder if I shouldn't first look for the most unlikely of possibilities when it comes to this odd town. Forks was only sleepy on the surface. I had assumed that our presence (or the lack thereof) was the cause and cure to the supernatural horrors of Forks' history, but we had left and still the supernatural pervaded here.

What had happened? Was it just chance that a group of nomadic vampires came through the area? Had they simply stumbled upon the wolves unexpectedly, resulting in the altercation that took Embry Call's life? Were the vampires all destroyed? Had they come here for a purpose?

Alice dialed Jasper on her phone just as I was about to ask her to have him find the site of Embry's death. She spoke quickly, explaining what we had discovered and hung up with him before turning to me with a look of fierce determination. I did not like the fire I saw behind her eyes in the slightest. She knew that I'd decided to collect Bella from her house and bring her to the mansion to watch over her while we ascertained the identities and hopefully locations of all the monsters in Forks, Washington.

"Alice.." I began, but she stopped me.

"You listen to me, Edward Cullen." Alice's tone was low and her words were punctuated with audible tension. Her tiny frame began to tremble as I stared back at her, perplexed. Alice was visibly angry and I was at a complete loss to explain her behavior. I'd never seen my sister this way. I didn't dare speak.

"She's not ready to see you. I won't put her through it! Do you understand me?! I will never put her through it again, so help me!" Alice's volume increased with each statement she made until she was shouting at me. I only stared back in mute shock and confusion as she buried her head in her hands while tearless sobs shook her body.

Then, I could see the visions of Bella in that almost catatonic state again in Alice's mind. She'd been holding them back, but as her emotion overtook her I could plainly see a vision of Bella curled into a ball, lying on her side, her eyes void of life. She was clearly in some type of mental health facility. She was dirty and frail and just totally lifeless.

The vision was horrifying and Alice was feeling its effects physically. _Oh God, make it stop. I can't look at this anymore._ Alice's thoughts were desperate for a reprieve from the haunting vision. Could she really be telling me that the path we were on was leading Bella there?

"You see I have to protect her from you now." She said quietly, without looking at me.

A growl sprang from my chest, the suggestion that Bella be kept away from me, affecting me on an instinctual level. Once my brain and mouth caught up to my intitial visceral reaction to Alice's pronouncement, I shook my head at myself in horror. "Alice, I'm so sorry. Of course, I'll do as you ask. I don't want that for her either. Of course I don't! Tell me what I have to do, Alice. I'll do anything!" I beseeched her as I pulled her hands into mine and turned her to face me.

She sighed and looked at me sadly, "I don't have all the answers, Edward. My vision is clouded and was never perfect to begin with." She waved her hands in the air in an exasperated expression. "All I know is that this possibility pops up every time you make up your mind to take her away with you without warning. Edward you have to convince yourself that that is not an option." I nodded slowly, processing her words when the anger crept back into her voice, "I know this might come as a surprise to you, dear brother, but you can't just do what you like. You don't get to make other people's choices. Not even Bella's."

"What is that supposed to mean, Alice?" I couldn't keep the hurt and anger out of my voice. Her words stung me.

"Did you never really stop to think about the rest of us? In all these months, you haven't considered anyone but yourself?" She looked at me and I could see in her eyes that a part of her was disgusted with me. Her disgust was mixed with hurt, bitterness, anger, and above all sadness. _I lost her, too. You took her from me as well. _

"Oh, Alice." I dropped to my knees in front of her and bowed my head. "Alice, I could never be sorry enough. It was never my intention to... I thought..I thought...it was the only way...Oh God, Alice, I'm sorry."

She placed her palm on my head and ran her fingers through my hair for a second before she spoke again. "Nevermind that now. Jasper's here." _I still love you, Edward. You are still my brother._

In those words I found both guilt and relief. It was an odd mixture of emotion, a bittersweet declaration. I kept her hand in mine as I returned to my seat on the couch next to her.

Jasper arrived seconds later with bad news.

"Edward, it was Victoria. The only scent I recognized of at least a dozen. There was a war."


End file.
